My parents recently went traveling in Vietnam and Laos and they met a couple that owns a really successful recruiting agency. They said one book, called Go Givers Sell More, made a huge impact. Since I am building a recruiting agency I figured that I should read it.
The book really resonated with my experience, especially now that I am doing a ton of sales and cold outreach. Here are my notes. I did my best to compress a 160 page book into 4 pages of notes. So if anything is vague or cryptic just ask.
Here are my notes.
The basic premise of the book is that you have to give value in order to receive.
If your goal in sales is to create value for other people, how do you do that? Here are five ways: excellence, consistency, attention, empathy, and appreciation.
- Excellence: When you thank an employee for something at an excellent hotel, the answer is My Pleasure! rather than no problem.
- Consistency: Do what you say you are going to do.
- Attention: Pay phenomenal attention to detail and exhibit thoughtfulness.
- Empathy: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and make their life easier.
- Appreciation: Say thank you, and mean it. Write thank-you notes… not just emails, but actual handwritten notes. Publicly and privately praise what you truly appreciate in other people.
With these five value-generating activities, it’s not formulaic that if you perform X acts of appreciation you will get Y sales in return. You give because it’s who you are and therefore what you do. The only way to get more is to continuously give away these acts of value and eventually repayment will emerge. But if you go about creating value with the ulterior motive of receiving more value, it tends to show through on some level and sabotage the result. Give without emotional attachment to the return — knowing confidently that there will be return.
If someone approaches you to do business but we know for their purpose that a competitor would be better, we make a referral. Our focus is on providing value for the customer.
Psychology: in order to become givers, we willingly suspend our self-interest. We don’t erase or deny it; we simply set it aside for a moment so we can gain emotional access to the full experience of the Law of Value.
Providing more value than you receive in payment is the trade secret of all exceptional businesses.
Rapport formula: F-O-R-M. Family, Occupation, Recreation, Message. Conversations that meander along these topics will strike a vein of connection and rapport.
Quick rapport rules:
- Be polite.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Listen. Just try to understand exactly what the person is saying. Honor their perspective.
- Smile (again).
- Say please and thank you.
- Find a genuine interest in the other person.
Rapport can be as subtle as honoring a person’s native tongue or expressing your genuine mutual interests. It’s about being human.
Going to the trouble of getting someone’s name right is one of the simplest gestures of respect there is — and mispronouncing, mangling, or misremembering another’s name is one of the surest ways to offend.
Remember to keep your focus on providing value for the other person. When you feel uncomfortable on a call, you are thinking about yourself.
Emotional maturity is the ability to keep your focus on others’ feelings even as you acknowledge and honor your own.
The essence of professionalism, is showing up for work even when you don’t feel like it. Feelings and moods come and go. There may be times when you don’t really feel you’re interested in this other person, don’t feel like creating value for them, or don’t feel like being friendly. That’s okay. Take the action anyway.
Genuine influence accrues to those who become known as the sort of person who is committed to helping other people get what they want.
Approach each business relationship with; What have I done for you lately?
Give credit away rather than seek it; be kingmakers rather than kings; be constantly on the lookout for ways they can help to elevate other people’s lives.
All things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like, and trust. Key aspect of likability: great grooming. Pay attention to it daily, even when working remotely. It shines through in your voice and subtle mannerisms, even through text.
The majority of your best customers will come from people you vaguely know: not exactly friends but not exactly strangers. The teller at your bank; your kids’ friends’ moms, and so forth. Improve weak ties.
The philosophy for attending meetups: just making friends. Why? To make friends. Don’t mention our service at all. How to make the perfect meetup pitch? Don’t. Your aim is to have fun and make friends. Go for quality, not quantity. And don’t pitch. Instead, ask great questions:
- How did you get started in the [_____] business?
- What do you enjoy most about what you do?
- {Name}, how can I know if someone I’m talking to would be a good connection for you?
Meetups must be accompanied by followthrough.
- Send a personalized, handwritten thank-you note that says what a pleasure it was to meet them.
- Connect them to other people and suggest ways they could do business with each other or benefit in some way from the relationship.
- Send them info they might find interesting or valuable – not about your product or service but about something they’re personally interested in.
A feature is about our service. A benefit is about the other person.
If someone asks, what do you do? That describes the benefits people derive from doing business with you.
You cannot “make a sale”. What you can do is create value. People will do what people will do. All you can do is seek to serve, look for ways to create value… and trust.
Emotional clarity is your understanding of the difference between your economic need (which is real) and your emotional need for this person to be the solution to that economic need. Emotional discipline is your ability to hold onto that clarity and consistently choose your responses to each situation, rather than acting impulsively.
The combination of clarity and discipline is posture: stepping into the truth of who you are and the value you have to offer, without emotional attachment to any specific outcome.
There’s not a lot riding on the outcome for you… but there could be for them.
Whenever a prospect brings up your competitor, go out of your way to say something nice about him or her because respect earns respect.
Authenticity is not something you seek or take on; it’s something you simply embrace. Being whole means your words and actions are not separate: you do what you say.
Keep your focus on: Who is this person? What do they want? What are they searching for? What is the single most valuable thing I could possibly offer them?
Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about them.
There is forceful assertion and bravado (bad) and there is the simple statement of fact that springs from the quiet stillness of authenticity.
If someone objects to a pitch, turn in the direction of the skid. Agree with what they said. “Certainly something to consider” and “I get what you’re saying” are ways of being with the person rather than jousting. When you say “That’s a great question” or “That’s a good point” and then join with them to examine the issue they raised, you let them know it’s welcome and appreciated. The only way to say that authentically is to genuinely see it as a great point.
The underlying goal is to create value for the other person. Things we say to help take the pressure off, so they can feel more relaxed about making the right decision:
- If you can’t do it, I’ll definitely understand.
- {Name}, this may or may not be for you.
The flip side of giving value is letting yourself receive. If you don’t let yourself receive, you’re refusing the gifts of others — and you shut down the flow.
Focus on creating value in the world around you and for the people around you, and the greatest opportunities will come to you in moments and from places you never expected.
How do you get people to trust you? By being a trusting person. Living in trust means that having made your plan, you put it fully into action, investing it with excellence, consistency, attention, empathy, and appreciation.
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